I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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