you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
