Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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