You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
