Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
