you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
