She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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