Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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