I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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