She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
