there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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