Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
