I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
