Screwed.edu
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
