Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
