did you get engaged???
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
