I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
