no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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