So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My penis needs a shock collar
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
