just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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