And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
