I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
