thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
