Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I love you. Go after that dick
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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