You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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