hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
