Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
