AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
a search helicopter?!
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Dick very happy bro
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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