the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
