fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
As shirtless as possible
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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