I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
The struggles of a small town man whore
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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