I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
