the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
