I bet he comes in French.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
