Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
