I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
