Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
