You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Pants are for mortals
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
