If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
