ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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