The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Green mimosas i think yes
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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