Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
