i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
