You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
