Betty ford says i'm here all night
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
my being single is dangerous.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
