She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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