Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
