i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
