no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
