i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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