R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
