the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
